Perfect Relationships - Is There Any Such Animal

Don't hold out for perfect relationships because you'll only be disappointed. So many people sabotage their chances at love because they place their loved one and/or their relationship on a pedestal.



Until you change your definition of what perfect is you are doomed to failure again and again. You will also cause yourself and anyone you enter into a relationship with, a lot of pain.



No one is perfect, but someone can be perfect for you. There is a difference. The sooner you can make that distinction the sooner you'll have a real shot at having a great, loving relationship.



To get a better idea of what someone who is perfect for you would like, I've compiled a list of some of the most commonly desired traits in a partner. Of course your ideas could be different but these traits are fairly common and they provide a good place to start in examining what you consider perfect.



1.Understanding:

People are comfortable with someone who 'gets' them. If you sing in the shower, like weird food combination's, or just like to act goofy sometimes, you'll want a partner who can play along with you.



Everyone has their own little quirks and your perfect partner will, at the minimum, accept those quirks without making fun of you and at best will have the same or similar quirks. You won't want someone who will roll their eyes or ridicule you whenever you do these things. They should love you, and accept you, just as you are.



2. Good self esteem:

One of the biggest problems I see in relationships is when one party is insecure. This insecurity is often hidden and it can come across as many other things. Very often someone who is overly sexual or overly aggressive is actually just trying to compensate for and cover up a very strong sense of insecurity.



As you get to know someone keep a close eye out for their actions, this will tell you a lot. For example, how do they react when something embarrassing happens? Do they get angry, defensive? Do they lash out at you, this should be a huge, huge, red flag. Or do they laugh and shrug and go along with it good naturedly. If they do the latter it probably means that they are a secure confidant person, and that is a trait you want to look for in a partner.



3. Outlook:

Do they share similar views on things that are important to you? You don't have to agree on everything. It's possible some relationships can thrive even if both parties are very different in many of their views; though it will only work if both parties are mature and secure and don't feel threatened that the other one doesn't agree with them on various issues.



For the most part though, it will work better if you and your potential partner have a common ground on the main issues, your core beliefs. If you value honesty and fidelity, for example, you won't be happy with someone who lies and cheats.



Believe it or not, it's actually pretty easy to find perfect relationships, or at least perfect for you. The problem is that people see what they want to see and not what is really there. I know it can be hard, especially in the beginning, but it's important for the long term health and happiness of the relationship that you take off the blinders and see your partner as they really are, not as you want them to be.

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Emotional Infidelity Is There Really Such A Thing

Are you wondering about emotional infidelity, what it is and is it ok if you're in a relationship? Well you're not alone. Many people think about infidelity only on one level: the physical. In fact it's true to say, that many people don't even believe there's such a thing as emotional infidelity. Well they're wrong!



First of all let's define “emotional infidelity!” This classically occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship. This may seem trivial to begin with but it can escalate and become something else – in short, become physical.



So, if you've formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why? To be perfectly honest, you should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real and potential problems to your relationship.



This is not to say that you have to tell your spouse/partner about every single part of your day. The distinction here is that if you are deliberately hiding a friendship with a third person, and hiding the nature of that friendship, from your spouse/partner!



What you should also consider, when it comes to emotional infidelity, is how your partner would feel if they ever found out? Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that? Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship? Not only that, someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship?



Emotional infidelity, might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you're even more distant than usual and this is because you are sharing with someone else and pretty soon you're thinking about that someone else more and more.



Once this happens it can often be a short step towards a full on physical relationship and that's why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.



If there is a problem in your relationship then it is best sorted out between you and your partner and if need be with professional outside help, or perhaps even with trusted friends.



Make no mistake emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity.

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