Showing posts with label Infidelity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Infidelity. Show all posts

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Simple Tips To Help You Save Your Relationship After Infidelity








If you are trying to save your relationship after infidelity and wondering where to turn, then the good news, amongst the doom and gloom you're currently feeling, is that there is hope.



What you have to do first of all is make sure that you are serious about wanting to save your relationship. There is very little point in trying to save the relationship if you are not fully committed to what you are about to undertake.



Now, after infidelity a relationship is in a very fragile state. Trust has been broken and betrayal is often all that the wounded spouse can think about. If you are the spouse who has strayed and betrayed your spouse, then get ready to do some serious making up.



Obviously you will have to start by ending your affair. Once you have ended the affair and broken off all contact with your lover, then you have to convince your spouse that you have done this and done this once and for all. There really is no point attempting this reconciliation if you are still seeing your lover or still in contact with them.



Take some time thinking about what caused you to have the affair in the first place. Very rarely is it about wanting to sleep with someone else. Usually it's about an emotional need that was not being met in the relationship. Figure out what you were missing and sit down with your spouse and explain it to them.



Whatever you do don't make your spouse think or feel that whatever you were missing was because they weren't providing it. You have to take full responsibility for your mistakes and you have to do so in a constructive way.



After infidelity, you are going to have to work at getting back your spouse's trust. Now this will not happen over night, so don't get frustrated and angry if you feel you're being made to jump through hoops to win back your spouse's trust. When you first met and dated your spouse, trust didn't just appear on the first date, the first week or month. No, it took time to time to build and grow and now that you have severely damaged that trust, it will once again take time to return. So you're going to have to be very patient.



Make sure that after the infidelity, if the two of you feel that you need to seek outside expert help that you do so. There is no point in you both wanting to save the relationship, but neither of you have any clue about how to go about this and then not seeking help. You will do yourselves a great disservice if you decide to soldier on without help.



Relationships can be saved after infidelity has happened. The key though, is that one or both of you truly want to save the relationship.

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Sunday, June 06, 2010

Marriage Infidelity Tips To Help You Save Your Marriage Before And After








Marriage infidelity is often the biggest reason that marriages end. Truth is, there have probably been problems in the marriage long before an affair occurred, but often the affair can turn out to be the breaking point. The key then is to deal with problems within the marriage as they arise and not leave them to the point where an affair happens.



To avoid marriage infidelity make sure that you and your spouse deal with any situation that is causing ructions within the marriage. The worst possible thing that many couples do is to ignore what is staring them in the face. Hiding from your problems will only make them fester and grow, get in there and tackle what is wrong head on!



Because the truth is that the affair is usually a symptom of marital problems. If there was emotional distance between you and your spouse, then within that distance there is the chance for an affair to begin. Sit down with your spouse and discuss how you feel. If you genuinely feel that your marriage is not how it should be then you have to be upfront and honest.



If you believe that you need to spend more time with your spouse then say so. Schedules need to be looked at and plans need to be made for when the two of you can spend some quality time together. Spending time together is a classic way to defeat distance in a relationship.



Another classic reason for marriage infidelity is money! Financial problems are without a doubt common reasons that people look for what they need outside of marriage. If you are struggling under the weight of trying to make ends meet financially, of coping with debt, or you're worried about your job security, then again you have to talk to your spouse. Trying to cope with this on your own will only make things more difficult. Looking outside your marriage for comfort from a third person will only hurt your marriage.



If you've got to a point where marriage infidelity is already a reality and you want to save your marriage, then you will then have to put out some fires and put them up pretty quickly. First of all end the relationship with the third person. Make sure that your spouse knows that you have ended it. Apologize for your mistake and explain to your spouse why you think you made the mistake. Any reasonable person can, IN TIME, forgive. What will erode forgiveness over time is lie after lie and betrayal after betrayal. So clearly and honestly explain your mistake, detail to your spouse what you are doing to prevent making that mistake again and live up to your promise!

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Saturday, June 05, 2010

Emotional Infidelity Is There Really Such A Thing








Are you wondering about emotional infidelity, what it is and is it ok if you're in a relationship? Well you're not alone. Many people think about infidelity only on one level: the physical. In fact it's true to say, that many people don't even believe there's such a thing as emotional infidelity. Well they're wrong!



First of all let's define “emotional infidelity!” This classically occurs when someone in a committed relationship/marriage forms an emotional attachment with a third person outside of the relationship. This may seem trivial to begin with but it can escalate and become something else – in short, become physical.



So, if you've formed a friendship that you cannot tell your spouse/partner about then you should seriously ask yourself why? To be perfectly honest, you should not have a relationship/friendship with anyone that you cannot openly and honestly discuss with your partner. The minute your partner is shut out of any part of your life there is a potential for distance. With distance comes real and potential problems to your relationship.



This is not to say that you have to tell your spouse/partner about every single part of your day. The distinction here is that if you are deliberately hiding a friendship with a third person, and hiding the nature of that friendship, from your spouse/partner!



What you should also consider, when it comes to emotional infidelity, is how your partner would feel if they ever found out? Perhaps you are sharing intimate details of your life with your partner with your secret friend? How would your partner feel about that? Knowing that any problems the two of you are having are being openly discussed by you with someone outside of your relationship? Not only that, someone who could quickly become a destructive element within your relationship?



Emotional infidelity, might seem like a little bit of harmless fun when you first set out but it can quickly and dangerously escalate into something that can seriously threaten your relationship. You will find that your partner will have picked up on the fact that you're even more distant than usual and this is because you are sharing with someone else and pretty soon you're thinking about that someone else more and more.



Once this happens it can often be a short step towards a full on physical relationship and that's why any emotional attachment that your partner does not know about it so dangerous.



If there is a problem in your relationship then it is best sorted out between you and your partner and if need be with professional outside help, or perhaps even with trusted friends.



Make no mistake emotional infidelity is as dangerous as physical infidelity.

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