Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advice. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Relationship Break Up Advice How To Save Your Relationship Or Move On
Are you looking for relationship breakup advice? Then you're probably feeling as though this is one of the lowest points in your life. Now that may very well be true, but however badly you're feeling right now, this feeling will pass! You will get through this!
What you do now, depends on the outcome you're looking for. If you're ready for the relationship to be over and have no interest in trying to save the relationship, then then you will go one way. If on the other hand you're looking for a way to save your relationship, then you will need a whole different set of tips and strategies to make this happen.
Relationship breakup advice for those who want to save their relationship is based on how you handle yourself in the run-up to the breakup and immediately after the breakup. If you are at the point in your relationship where your partner has just announced they want to end the relationship, then my advice to you is to agree to the breakup. Your biggest mistake would be to try and persuade your ex to stay in the relationship and not to leave you.
Agree to the breakup, let your ex go and wish them well. Your plan now is to get yourself together. Yes you're devastated that the one you love has walked out, but you have to find a way to deal with that devastation and to deal with it in a way that will help you rekindle your relationship in the future.
So spend some time coming to terms with what has happened in the relationship. You need to do this on your own, without your ex. Make no attempt to contact your ex, instead find your friends and your family and let them help you through this upsetting time.
What you can also do is to make peace with yourself. We all make mistakes and depending on the level of your mistake, it is forgivable! So don't spend the next few weeks beating yourself up. When it comes to contacting your ex in a few weeks, you need to be emotionally sound and appealing to pull off the reconciliation.
If you have no interest in rekindling the relationship, then the relationship breakup advice you're looking for is about finding strategies about how to cope with the trauma. You need to be able to move on with your life, so above all, give yourself time. Treat the ending of the relationship almost like a death.
It really doesn't matter whether you wanted the relationship to end or not. The point is it has ended and there was a time when you had real hopes for the relationship. Acknowledge that and acknowledge your disappointment that it has ended and you'll come through this in time.
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Relationship A Woman And Advice Dont Ask Me Brother
Trying to have a successful relationship can be a challenge for anyone. There is no one size fits all relationship or relationship advice. There are, however, some relationship and woman advice that can help women find, and keep, that great relationship they've been looking for.
As odd as it might sound, if you want a good relationship the first person you have to worry about is you. Too many women are looking for the wrong thing and for the wrong reasons.
Everyone wants to feel liked, loved, desired, and respected. That's a wonderful thing to find. But too many women don't feel they have any worth unless they are in a romantic relationship, and that's where the trouble starts.
You see it goes a little like this: a lonely insecure woman who feels desperate for the love of a man will put off 'desperate vibes'. The only kind of man she is going to attract is an insecure man who needs to control the women in his life so he can feel important. The two will enter into a twisted co-dependent relationship that won't be truly be satisfying to either one.
That is why it is vital that any woman who is looking for a serious relationship take a long hard, and possibly painful, look at herself. It's not that she's not good enough, it's just that she doesn't think she's good enough. Until she realizes her own worth she will continue to attract the wrong type of men, be subject to some level of abuse whether verbal, emotional, or much worse, and will never really get the love she wants and deserves.
And the abuse in this type of situation is virtually guaranteed. You have to understand that a decent secure man will never be attracted to an insecure desperate woman. So that only leaves the kind of men that don't know any other way than to abuse women.
They may not physically abuse them, and it may not even be real overt, but the abuse will be there. He will onstantly be making snide and hurtful comments about her looks, her weight, her cooking, her housekeeping, or her lovemaking... and that is abuse.
Then after suffering from that abuse over a period of time women will only have lower self esteem and even if they break up with their partner the cycle will continue, only it will probably be worse since her self esteem is so much lower than before.
You can nip this problem in the bud. Just slow down, take some time to make sure you are the woman of your dreams. Make sure you are the type of woman you truly want to be, strong, confident, capable. If you need some help to get to that point don't hesitate to find a good therapist and enlist their help.
It might take time but it will be time well spent. If you truly want to have a lifetime of love and fulfillment you need to make sure you are the kind of woman who 'demands' it. Not by stomping your feet or becoming a shrew, but by being strong and capable and knowing that you deserve the very best. When you become that type of woman than you will attract the type of man that can truly make you happy.
Even though it might not be what some people want to hear, I hope that this relationship woman advice is taken to heart. I've seen the pattern above repeated with a dear friend of mine and she's in yet another lousy relationship with an insecure guy who makes himself feel like a big man by knocking her down. She, and you, can do much, much better.
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Monday, June 07, 2010
Relationship Advice Online
Most of us at one point or another in our lives will find ourselves in a difficult spot in our relationship. It can be tough to know which way to turn. There is help though, seeking out relationship advice online is one way to go.
For most people when faced with a crisis, of any kind, the first thing they do is talk things over with family or friends. And often, that's all it takes. Usually our problems aren't so in depth that it takes much more than a shoulder to cry on and a little tlc.
Sometimes, however, our problems go much deeper and not only do we need good advice, we need good un-biased advice, and that is something you can not go to your family and friends for. They will have their opinion sure, but it won't be unbiased. More than likely they will take your side in most everything...even if you're the one who is wrong.
If you're trying to salvage a relationship, that is not what you need. You need an objective person to tell you the truth, even the things you may not want to really hear. The painful truths, often the ones we run away from, are usually just what we need to hear.
Hiring a professional counselor or therapist can be a good way to go too. But before you do, keep a few things in mind. Therapists are just like any other group of professionals, some are better than others.
You should be particularly careful when choosing a faith based counselor. Why? Because sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes they will encourage you to stay in your relationship at all costs. They may be more concerned with their own religious beliefs and their bias against getting a divorce than they are for your well being and happiness. And the really bad part is they may not even realize they are doing it.
Now, I want to be clear. Using a faith based counseling service isn't a bad idea, just remember that everyone has an opinion, even non faith based therapists will have their own opinions, just make sure whatever therapist you see isn't blinded by their own opinion to the detriment of helping you figure out the best course of action for you.
And, last but not least, you can always use the enormous resources of the internet to help with your relationship questions. You could find forums, chat rooms, blogs, etc on relationships and relationship advice.
As with any other type of counseling just make sure you take everything with a grain of salt. Using online resources can be easier for some people since many people have a hard time opening up about personal issues face to face.
It can sometimes be easier to 'spill your guts' anonymously online. That can be a huge benefit since total honesty will be necessary to make the necessary changes in your life and to help you in your relationship.
So, if you're facing issues in your relationship and you want to get help just remember that you don't have to rely only on the 'traditional' offline methods. There is plenty of very good relationship advice online that can help you sort out all of your relationship issues.
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Friday, June 04, 2010
Can You Trust Relationship Advice Online
Look up any problem you may be having and you will find plenty of relationship advice online. But how do you know whether you can trust it or not?
I guess the answer to that question is does it make sense to you? If the person giving the advice has opinions and thoughts that are the opposite of what you personally believe in then you are not going to have much faith in them.
However, if someone strikes a chord with you, you will probably listen to them. Personally I believe that it is important that the relationship advice online is provided by someone who has helped other couples already. How will you know if that has happened? You should see plenty of testimonials from happy clients or readers of the website. If twenty couples have benefited from the advice they received, it can't all be bad right?
Relationships are by their nature very personal things. Sure there are some common themes in successful ones. Mutual respect, trust, caring, sexual attraction and love are just a few of them. You cannot expect a partnership to survive without these. It would be the same as expecting a plant to live without sunshine and water.
If you and your other half are having problems, you need to address the issues and soon. You cannot just ignore them as they tend to grow rapidly and can eventually cause you to split up. You have the option of going for counseling either separately or together but sometimes people do not want to sit opposite a stranger for fear they will judge them. If you feel like this, the anonymity of contacting someone online will be very attractive to you.
So how do you keep the relationship healthy so you can minimise your chances of needing relationship advice online or otherwise? You need to treat each other with care. You are both individual human beings with your own needs, wants and desires. Sometimes it can be easy to take each other for granted. Your partner may start feeling left out as you go about saving the world and its problems. Or you may be very busy at work and too tired to make time for them when you do get home.
Try arranging a date night at least once a week for you two to share some fun and conversation. You must set up some rules before hand for example, you have to behave like you did when you were dating i.e. no talk of the kids, the row you had last week or your mother in law. You should dress up and make an effort just as you would on a date. And don't put pressure on each other to end up in the bedroom. You should make more of an effort in the bedroom department too but it is only one part of your overall partnership.
If you are having problems, why not try relationship advice online. After all you have more to gain than you can lose!
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